2009 Blonde Joke Remix: The Amazon Kindle

A blonde woman, pictured above, hopes that she does not misunderstand the Kindle at the expense of her dignity.

With the release of the Amazon Kindle in Canada, revisions and additions to a number of very important pop cultural discriminations are necessary. Therefore, The Albatross is pleased to present the following insightful answers to the question of “How can you tell if a blonde has been reading a Kindle?”

• There are bookmarks scotch taped to the front of the screen; this shows a lack of understanding on their part.
• The hot blonde person you have sex with seems to be expanding their vocabulary. From reading text on the Kindle.
• There is white-out on the screen, rendering the device unrecognizable, as the rest of it is also white. The blonde person then attempts to eat the Kindle, as if it were a piece of bread.
• They keep complaining that their new TV has too many books on it. But the Kindle is not a television.
• The only publication stored on it is Cosmopolitan magazine. Furthermore, it is a month-old issue that is only bookmarked up to the eighth page. The blondes are unable to decipher this rudimentary print communication with even an average level of efficiency.  They are also very busy having sex with all athletic teams.
• The built-in web browser is showing a Google search result for the input of “Play Tetris.” The screen of the Kindle is reminiscent of the original Nintendo Game Boy, which a blonde might have emotionally manipulated someone into buying for her at some point.
• The customizable text setting on the Kindle has been changed to “Upside-Down.” Text cannot be read this way.
• The kindle has been damaged by saliva, as blonde women are prone to fellating every object that they encounter.
• A smaller version of the Kindle accompanies the existing one, as it is the matching property of a small but loyal dog which resides in an expensive purse owned by the blonde.
• There is a charge on your credit card for an Amazon Kindle, because they spend your money in exchange for an intimate relationship with you.
• The Kindle has been spray painted in a neon pink reminiscent of highly intense vagina colouring.
• A blonde person you know is explaining how they find it extremely difficult to start a fire with what they believe to be the appropriate objects available to them.
• What are you talking about? Blonde women cannot read.

Please share this article with family and friends, so that they will not fall into miserable obsolescence with regards to these new, Kindle-related discoveries about blondes, and the deficiencies which they are invariably associated with.